An adventuresome couple will often include some toys into their lovemaking. These toys can include dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, and any number of other items that will enhance sensuality and sexual enjoyment. Toys can be fun, but there are some hazards to using toys during sex. This section will not talk about how to use the various toys since there are a number of good resources you can turn to for how-to instructions. Rather, this section will talk about some of the problems you may encounter using toys and what to do about those problems.
Vibrators are fun and can give you a GREAT buzz (pun intended). Vibrators can also be used to relax sore muscles and relieve muscle tension. Think about the vibrators that are sold in drug stores . They are usually packaged in boxes showing a person massaging tense neck or back muscles. Giving yourself a vibrating massage is a nice way to relax. Better yet, having your partner give you a vibrating massage can be delightful.
Pain in a muscle can indicate an overworked or injured muscle and a vibrator, along with a hot pack, can help reduce the discomfort. However, if you have a calf muscle that aches and is sore, swollen, and hot to the touch, do NOT use a vibrator to alleviate the pain. Instead, call your doctor. You could have a blood clot in a vein of your calf. Massaging that painful area with a vibrator or even with your hands could cause the clot to break free and travel to the lungs causing what is known as a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lungs). This is a critical emergency and a call to 9-1-1 along with a quick trip to the emergency department is required. And, in spite of all your good intentions, this will not be a relaxing time!
When using a vibrator on the ‘pink parts’ or very sensitive areas of the body, move it around and do not let it sit on one area for too long. If you keep the vibrator in one place for a prolonged time, that area of the body will become numb or desensitized. A numb clit, nipple, or penis is not your goal here. Change the position of the vibrator and, if possible, alternate the speed and intensity of the vibrations. You will have a lot more fun.
Vibrators and dildos are frequently inserted into the body. Vaginal or rectal insertion can bring about a wide variety of sensations in both women and men. While there is nothing wrong with inserting a dildo or vibrator into the vagina or rectum, there are some precautions that you must take to ensure intense pleasure from and safe use of your toy.
First, putting the toy inside the body requires that you get it out of the body when finished. There are differences between vaginal and rectal insertion. The vagina ends at the cervix. Although the cervix has a hole that communicates between the vagina and the uterus, it is too small for the vibrator or dildo to pass. So, if you insert a vibrator and it ends up being fully inserted, you can still retrieve it with your fingers. For example, remember the time when a condom broke during sex and you wondered where it went.
If a rubber breaks and accidentally comes off during sex, it is not lost – it is still inside the vagina, not somewhere deep in the woman’s abdominal cavity, requiring surgery to retrieve! (If you have not experienced this dilemma, you are in for a ‘treat’ when it happens.) Keep in mind that your romantic and erotic evening will have come to an abrupt end at this point! And, yes, your fingers will get messy.
To retrieve the broken rubber, insert one or two fingers deep into the vagina toward the back, upper section and locate the condom. You may need to sweep the vagina to locate it. Once you find the rubber, pull it out and discard it. Similarly, if you are using a small, bullet-shaped vibe, it may get pulled deep into the vagina. It can still be retrieved manually like retrieving a condom without a trip the emergency department.
Vibrators and dildos that have been inserted vaginally can be inserted rectally before cleaning them. However, never insert a toy that has been in the rectum into to vagina prior to cleaning the toy with soap and water. This goes for your fingers and other body parts as well. Bacteria in the rectum can cause a severe infection if introduced into the vagina.
If you will be using a toy for vaginal, anal, and rectal stimulation, there some other things to remember – use lots of lubrication, keep the toy smooth, and prevent it from becoming fully inserted into the rectum.
The tissues of the rectum are not as well lubricated or as thick as the walls of the vagina. During vaginal or rectal stimulation, use plenty of lubrication such as KY Jelly, Astroglide, or other commercially available water-based lubricant. If you are using latex toys, do not use a petroleum-based lube such as Vaseline since it can ‘melt’ the toy. (Note: If you are using a condum, do not use Vaseline as a lubricant or your condom may be damaged.) For anal/rectal play, use more lube than with vaginal play. With toys though, the tendency is to use too much lube resulting in a sloppy mess. Remember, you can always wipe off the excess.
Before using the toy vaginally or rectally, visually inspect it. If the vibrator or dildo is made of hard plastic, inspect the toy for any rough or sharp spots especially around the seams. Use a nail file to smooth out sharp edges since sharp edges can cut the vagina, anus, and rectum.
If at any time there is bleeding associated with the use of a toy, don’t use the toy or, at the very least, put it away for a while.
Unlike the vagina, the rectum does not have a definite end. It continues on with the large intestine or colon. Allowing a dildo or vibrator to become fully inserted is dangerous and potentially embarrassing since the toy can be pulled into the colon and be nearly impossible to remove without medical help.
Anal and rectal toys must have a flange to prevent full insertion into the rectum. Butt plugs are specifically designed with a flange to prevent full insertion. Battery-operated vibes with cords attached to the vibrating egg are no assurance that the toy can be removed if it becomes fully inserted. Cords have broken off when trying to pull them to remove the vibrating part of the toy. If you will be using a vibrator for anal or rectal stimulation. always hold onto the vibrator especially if it does not have a flanged end.
If your toy gets ‘sucked’ into the rectum, you will probably need to visit the emergency department. More than likely, you will undergo some form of surgery to extract the toy as well as experience tremendous embarrassment at the same time. To emphasize this last point, please know that nearly every emergency department has a ‘trophy room.’ This room is not really a room, but a drawer or shelf containing items such as vibrators, dildos, flashlights, light bulbs, and similar objects that were used for sexual pleasure, but had to be extracted from patient’s bodies after the device got stuck.
The staff at the emergency department will be respectful, treating your professionally and courteously in front of you and your lover. But, keep in mind your dilemma will be the staff’s entertainment for the evening! You might even hear a few smirks and giggles once the treatment room door closes.
The device will be removed and, once you have recovered, you will be discharged home with a warning about inserting things into the body that you cannot get out. A final word of caution is in order: Think about what you want to use before using it. Sure, you might be able to get it inside the body and have a wonderful and sexually intense experience, but can you get it out of the body when you are done.
Remember – What goes in MUST come out!