Losing Virginity
My girlfriend and I want to know what precautions to take when losing our virginity. We do have an additional fear of rupture of the membrane and any associated mess.
Our answer...
Thanks for asking us!
First, an important aspect of this important and significant time is patience. Taking your time and not rushing into things is important since, if she is not ready and is not adequately lubricated, vaginal penetration could be difficult. It may not be a bad idea to let her take the lead -- when she is ready, she will know.
As for preparations, you need to consider two important things: Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy. To reduce the worry of both of these things, use a condom. It is a widespread but false belief that a virgin cannot become pregnant the first time she has sex. There are a lot of children around who can attest to that myth.
If your girlfriend is using contraceptives, the risk of pregnancy is reduced but not the risk of STDs. From your letter, I assume that you are both virgins. If this is the case, since neither of you have had sex, the risk of STDs is less but not eliminated. Again, use a condom.
With the first penetration there may be some pain as the vagina opens and the hymen is stretched or ruptured. As I mentioned above, let your girlfriend take the lead. You may even want to have her on top to guide your penis slowly inside of her. Taking your penis slowly allows her to get accustomed to the change at her own rate. Once she becomes comfortable, things can get heated rather quickly.
If the hymen is intact, there may be a small amount of bleeding during initial penetration (we're talking a few drops to maybe 1-2 ml). Depending on where you are using (at home, friend's house, hotel, car), you may want to place a towel underneath to two of you. If there is any bleeding, the towel can absorb the blood and then washed later.
Again, thanks for asking us your question. Having sex for the first time is a unique experience that both of you will probably remember forever. Enjoy that special time!