One of those embarrassing moment usually comes after the lust when you look in the mirror and see the deep purple mark on your neck. Shortly thereafter your family and especially your friends tease you about that ‘monkey bite’ on your neck. While some claim it’s a mark stating, “I was here.” Regardless of who put it there or why, the hickey is a mark that can be emotionally if not physically painful.

What causes a hickey?
A hickey is causes by suction applied to the neck that breaks the blood vessels close to the surface of the skin. It is very similar to a bruise and looks exactly like one. When the blood vessels break, the leaking blood gathers just under the skin causing the black and blue discoloration. The more suction that is applied and the larger the area, the bigger the hickey. Some hickeys are very small and only slightly discolored while others are huge and deep blue.

Why on the neck and not elsewhere?
The most common site for a hickey is the neck. This happens for two reasons. First, the neck is highly sensitive and considered an erogenous zone…when kissed or nibbled there, you get turned on and more passionate. Second, the blood supply to the neck is much richer than other areas of the body. In other words, there are a lot more blood vessels in the head, face, and neck than there are in the arm or leg. Think about a time when you were embarrassed. Your faced and neck turned bright red because the large of number of blood vessels opened up (dilated) and let a lot more blood in the area. This makes it much easier for a person to give someone a hickey. Sure, you could put a hickey on the arm, but you would be sucking on the arm for such a long time that your more would get tired. Plus, sucking or kissing the arm really isn’t something that turns people on!

How long will it last?
The body has been injured and needs to heal. Since each person is different, healing times will also be different. If you have been bruised, you will know about how long it will take to heal. Generally speaking, the hickey will last about a week going from deep red/purple to yellow-green as it fades.

Can you speed healing?
Not by much, but you can do a couple of things. First, immediately after you get a hickey apply a cold compress such as an ice pack like you would for a bruise. This slows the leaking of blood from the broken vessels and limits the size of the hickey. However, by the time you really notice the mark, it’s probably too late for this treatment. After the first 24 hours, use heat to hasten the reabsorption of blood by the body. (Looking to see if the doctor is around…ok coast is clear…traditional medicine and herbal remedies don’t always mix!) If you want to try herbal remedies, you might consider arnica montana, a gel used to help in the healing process. Another herbal remedy is comfrey. Be careful, though, because comfrey can be toxic to the liver. Because of this, we don’t recommend using Comfrey. But, this is no guarantee that the hickey will go away faster. If you want to hide the hickey, wear turtle-neck shirts use make-up to cover the mark.

How Can I Prevent the Hickey?
Don't volunteer your neck! And, don't think that a clove or bulb of garlic will help -- that's only for vampires! The best way to prevent a hickey is to agree with your partner not to leave any marks on the neck -- his neck or her neck. If you feel your partner beginning to kiss and suck vigorously on your neck, break away and remind him or her that hickeys are not allowed.

The Infamous and Painful Rug Burn
A painful problem associated with a passionate romp in places other than a bed is the rug burn. The rug burn is really not a burn. Rather it is an abrasion caused by scraping off the outer layers of skin. When you are lying on a rug, bumping and grinding, you don’t notice that your tailbone area or knees or elbows are getting sore. But, as you rub against your partner and the carpet, you butt or knees and elbows are being injured. After the passion subsides, you will find some acutely tender areas. They are red and may even ooze some clear or pink to red fluid. This is serum and the pink to red color is from bleeding.

Like the rug burn, a person can also suffer from a beard burn. The beard burn is caused by passionate kissing with the faces rubbing together when the male partner has not recently shaved his face. The stubble scrapes the woman’s face, removing the outermost layer of skin.

How Can I Prevent a Rug or Beard Burn?
Get off the floor! Or, at least lay on something smoother like a sheet. To prevent beard burn, if he has a case of 5 o'clock shadow, ask him to shave or, if that's possible, avoid grinding your faces together. Both of these things may be easier said than done. But at least be aware that there are ways to prevent these injuries.

How Do I Take Care of the Rug/Beard Burn?
Care of these injuries is simple. Be sure to clean the scrape by gently washing with soap and water. If the scrape is oozing, cover with a clean dressing and apply pressure for several minutes. After the oozing has stopped, apply antibacterial ointment and cover with a dressing and bandage (i.e. Band-Aid that is large enough to cover it). This will help keep the scrape clean and prevent infection. Do not use alcohol or hydrogen peroxide since that may delay healing. Watch for signs of infection such as yellow-green pus accompanied by swelling and seek medical attention should infection develop. After a scab has formed, you do not have to bandage the wound. Just allow the abrasion to finish healing on its own.